🥪 From Sandwich to Deluxe Club: The Layers of Modern Caregiving

In today’s world, family roles are more complex than ever. Many adults find themselves not only raising children but also caring for aging parents, grandparents, or even grandchildren—all while managing careers, relationships, and personal well-being.

It’s a beautiful reflection of love and commitment, but it’s also emotionally and physically draining. Over the years, this experience has earned a few names—and at Zia Healing and Wellness, we’d like to add one more to the list.

The Sandwich Generation

This term describes adults who are “sandwiched” between caring for their own children and their aging parents. They may be driving teens to practice while managing doctor appointments for an elderly parent—all before the workday begins.

• The phrase was introduced in 1981 by social worker Dorothy A. Miller in an article titled “The ‘Sandwich’ Generation: Adult Children of the Aging.” 

• It was also used in parallel by gerontologist Elaine M. Brody in work about women “in the middle” caring for older parents and children.

• The metaphor “sandwich” reflects how these middle‐aged adults are “sandwiched” between supporting their children (younger generation) and their aging parents (older generation).

Common experiences:

• Feeling torn between generations

• Financial and emotional stress

• Difficulty finding personal time

• Guilt over never doing “enough”

The Club Sandwich Generation

The “club” version adds an extra layer—often caring for grandparents, parents, adult children, and grandchildren. These individuals may find themselves helping an elderly grandparent transition to assisted living while also providing childcare for grandkids and emotional support for adult children facing their own challenges.

In short: triple (or even quadruple) caregiving responsibilities.

It’s love in action—but also an enormous emotional load to carry.

 

The Deluxe Club Sandwich Generation

 — 

A Zia Perspective

We’d like to introduce a new term: the Deluxe Club Sandwich Generation.

This describes those who not only provide multigenerational caregiving but also carry emotional, professional, and community-level responsibilities—the ones who hold everyone together.

Maybe you’re:

• Running a household, managing work, and caregiving across multiple generations- Grandparents, parents, children, and grandchildren

• Acting as the emotional glue for your family

• Supporting friends, clients, or community members in addition to your family

• Still trying to maintain your own physical and mental health

You’re not just “sandwiched.” You’re layered with responsibility, empathy, and resilience.

The deluxe club sandwich generation doesn’t just keep people fed and safe—it keeps families functioning.

 

The Hidden Cost of Compassion

Whether you identify as sandwich, club, or deluxe club, the result is often the same:

• Chronic stress and compassion fatigue

• Sleep disturbances or burnout

• Identity loss or resentment

• Grief for your own unmet needs

These experiences are not weaknesses—they’re natural responses to sustained caregiving without enough support.

Reclaiming Balance and Meaning

At Zia Healing and Wellness, we recognize that caregiving can be both sacred and depleting. Therapy can help you process the emotional weight, reestablish boundaries, and rediscover yourself outside the caregiving role.

Remember: caring for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential maintenance for the person everyone else depends on.

If you see yourself in these descriptions, you’re not alone.

Visit www.ziahealingwellness.com or email admin@ziahealingwellness.com to connect with a therapist who understands the layered realities of modern caregiving.